Lessons from Daily Blogging

Today is day 141 of blogging in a row (I’ve set myself a challenge to blog every day for 2 years). That means I’m about 1/5 of the way through, so I thought I’d share some of the lessons I’ve learned in the past 4.7 months of blogging.

1. Writing in the day is so much better than writing at night, last-minute before bed. Yet mostly, I write in the dark because my boyfriend has already fallen asleep. The girl in this photo is not a good representation of me – imagine a glowing screen and rapid touch-typing.

2. Writing every day means some of the content I produce is inevitably going to not be ‘my best work’. The proportion of great content I create is still the same as before I started this challenge, but because of the sheer volume of content I’m creating, the overall number of great blog posts is much higher. Generating more content gives me extra opportunities to generate great content. More content = better content, overall.

3. Sharing my blog to social media every day is more draining than actually writing it, and therefore I tend not to share it to social media very often, which means my blog probably isn’t being read by many people – currently. I’m kind of torn between putting out my writing because I love doing it, not caring if one soul reads it, and the ‘Gary Vee Method’ of trying to get as many eyeballs on it as possible.

4. I’m writing for myself, not for anyone else. I have an audience in mind, but I blog because I’m deeply passionate about the topics I write about. It fuels me and it’s exciting to see a collection of works coming together, like an artist creating paintings for an exhibition.

5. I’m still finding the balance between personal and general on my blog. Am I creating ‘how to’ pieces? Or lifestyle photography with a small excerpt from my experience of my day? Am I just sharing my experience or is it more than that? I’ve tried all of these and I’m not totally sold on any of them. Right now, I’m just creating whatever comes to mind. I’m interested to see how it develops.

6. I don’t enjoy writing closing or openings to blogs. I just want to get straight to the point, the good stuff. Introductions and conclusions are generally fluff written out of obligation to the reader. Many posts would be better simply as tweets, as you’d get the point across without the unnecessary details. One of my favourite bloggers is Derek Sivers. He does this.

Even though I said I don’t like writing closings, this feels like it needs one. This is it.

Hold for more

Watch this space.

Intention Words for 2020

As I’m setting up my 2020 goals, I’m also doing a practice I do with all of my High Performance Coaching clients: setting intention words.

Intention words are markers that represent the best of who you are and how you want to show up in the world. You can use them to guide how you want think and act each day – which can have an incredibly powerful impact on your life.

My 3 Intention Words for 2020:

Vibrant
Connected
Unstoppable

Every single day, I want to show up with vibrancy, create connection and not let any set back stop me from achieving my mission.

I want to be vibrant even when I’m doing the dishes.
I want to be connected even when I’m talking to the postman.
I want to be unstoppable even when I’m facing a tiny decision.

Being intentional is about thinking about how you want to be before a situation occurs. Brendon Burchard, the author of High Performance Habits, argues that what makes High Performers so good at being intentional is that constantly remind themselves of their intentions.

I have an alarm on my phone, set to go off every morning at 8 am, and evening at 9:39pm, so my words pop up and I’m reminded to live into them at that moment, no matter what I’m doing. My 2019 intention words are sticky taped to my shampoo bottle so every morning I can ask myself “how could I show up with inner peace today?”

I’d love to hear what your 2020 intention words are – leave me a comment below!

Push Ups Update

I’m back in the game to get to 100 push ups. If you read my November Goals Review, you’ll know that the reason I didn’t achieve my goal of 30 push ups is that I was already at 25. I set the bar too low, and made the mistake of believing “I had time” to work up to it.

But I broke my own rule #1: Don’t set realistic goals.

Realistic goals are boring, and I have no motivation for them. Impossible Goals get me fired up.

So I’ve decided, instead, this month I will reach an impossible goal: 50 push ups.

Ooh, it gets me excited just thinking about it!

Here is my workout routine:

I only started it yesterday, but I am READY to make this happen! I’m going to accelerate them a bit, as I can definitely do more than 5 push ups. Tonight I managed to comfortably do 10 in a row, which is great because it’s actually the 7th day of the month! So I’m going to continue training at the rate of aiming for 50 push ups by the 31st of December.

I’ll keep you updated – make sure to check out my Instagram Stories as that’s where I’ll be posting most!

Put Your Mind To It & Do It

I had a coaching call with one of my clients today, and she was struggling to get herself to do the things she needed to do towards her goal.

She had a massive breakthrough and told me: it’s almost always easier than you think it is. You already know the thing you need to do, you just think you can’t do it yet. She is SO right.

She went away and applied for her dream job right then and there, and sent me proof. Done.

Here’s a series of journaling questions to make that hard thing easy:

1. What is the goal?

2. What needs to happen?

3. What will that take?

4. What bold action can I take right now?

Put your mind to it and do it.

Decade in Review

I’m looking forward to doing my 2019 review in depth, but before I do that, I’m excited to do a DECADE in review, because come on guys, can you believe we’re about to hit the 20’s? Did somebody say Gatsby? Yikes! We’ve come a long way in 100 years, but since I’ve only been alive for about 23.5 years, I’m ready to share my thoughts on the last 10 of my life.

2010-2019

Here’s a quick bullet-list summary of the last 10 years (I realize that ‘quick’ isn’t really going to do 10 years of my life justice, but if I were to do the long version – ain’t nobody got time for that!).

In the last 10 years I have:

• Attended and graduated University with a degree in Psychology & Philosophy

• Climbed Mount Kilimanjaro

• Started a bazillion online adventures – a t-shirt line, an Instagram course, an eco-fashion blog, a travel blog, a coaching practice and a membership site (to name a few!).

• Walked in a fashion show

• Walked a Hollywood Red Carpet

• Had my work published in a fashion magazine

• Fallen in love

• Moved across the world

• Traveled to more than 20 countries

• Overcome my fear of flying

• Been awarded a language cup

• Become a Certified High Performance Coach

• Gone vegetarian (and then vegan)

• Thrown some incredible parties

But listing 10 years worth of ‘successes’ wouldn’t be complete without also listing 10 years worth of ‘failures’:

• A bazillion business flops

• Several painful breakups

• An emotional breakdown

• Experiences of grief

• Got myself into (and out of) debt

• Feared for my life in a New York taxicab

• Made some awful financial decisions

• Been confused, sad, angry and exhausted

• Thrown some disastrous events (remind me to tell you about the time we found moldy bread in the washing machine during a show-home at our house!)

What am I proud of?

I’m incredibly proud of my relationships with my friends, family and my partner. I strive every day to make my relationships as meaningful and joyful as I can. Here are the two pieces of advice I always give to people when they ask for my opinion on happy relationships: First, you must put the other person first, always. In any kind of relationship (familial, romantic or platonic), if you both put each other first, you’ll both end up with what you need and want, and both people will feel good about it. Second, communicate. It’s the most boring piece of advice ever, but it’s the secret sauce for great relationships. Share what you’re feeling before it gets too big, and communicate in a forward-thinking way. (Constantly asking each other ‘how could we move this conversation forward?’) It’s a recipe for harmony.

I’m also proud of my coaching practice. In the past 2 years, I’ve thrown myself into honing my skills as a coach. There is so, so, so much more to come, but I’m proud of the transformations I’ve made in the lives of the people I’ve worked with. I remember sitting in my health class in 2011 in High School, being told that most of us would have jobs that weren’t even invented yet. I couldn’t imagine what they would be, but it’s come true! “High Performance Coach” wasn’t a job 9 years ago. I’m incredibly grateful that I found coaching.

I’m proud of my grit. Grit is defined as ‘perseverance and passion for long-term goals’. In the last 10 years, I’ve really developed my level of grit. I’ve had countless people say to me “wow, I would have given up by now” when I share my impossible goals with them. No matter what, I’m always pushing forward because my vision is so solid, my dreams are so strong. I’ve also had people say to me “you should give up, X isn’t for you.” I’ve been gritty af the whole way through that.

The Obstacles I’ve Overcome:

Being unsure of the career path I wanted to take. In the last 10 years, I’ve considered fashion design, magazine editing, psychology, philosophy, psychotherapy, law, DJing, music production, medicine, entrepreneurship, interior design, acting, television presenting, coaching, dancing, blogging, writing, film making, and a million other avenues. I’m fully serious, I’ve considered every single one. Now, I’ve embraced that I’m multi-passionate, and I probably won’t have one specific career or job for my whole life. Variety is the spice of life! I’ve accepted that and learned to love my many passions.

If it matters, do it daily.

Daily. Daily. Daily. If it matters, do it daily.

It might sound obvious, but this one concept has impacted my life far beyond what I expected in 2019.
Every single day, I meditate.
Every single day, I blog.

No ifs, ands or buts. No question of whether I will do it or not. I never think “Should I write on my blog today?” Because that decision has already been made, and the answer is yes. Always.

Of course, I’ve discovered that my best work comes when I have more time, and when a topic I’ve been contemplating for a while is bubbling to the surface. And my best meditation sessions happen when I purposefully carve out time in my day to focus on it, rather than rushing it at the end of the day.

Nevertheless, doing both of these every single day brings me so much joy. I know that I’m making progress, slowly but surely, towards my goals. I don’t even have to think about it. I’m just going to wake up one day in about two years time and find that I’m a much more practiced writer. That’s the beauty and simplicity of a daily practice.

I have a habit tracker that I use and check every night before bed to make sure I’ve completed my daily habits.

And to walk my talk, I’m adding another daily habit – at least for December:

• Push ups, daily. It doesn’t matter how many. The important thing is that they happen daily. If you read my December Goals, one of them is to reach 50 push ups (I can currently do <25).

If it matters, do it daily.

Mandatory Chill Time

One of the things about being a Goal Junkie (yes, I just coined that term) is that I tend to follow the unwritten advice “you can relax once everything is done.”

And yet, ‘everything’ never gets done, does it? If you’re like me, there is always more to do. Trash to take out, clothes to mend, tax to file, and even when the daily chores get done – there is always something you could be doing towards your goals and dreams. Setting up a dog-walking business. Writing a romance novel. Learning tennis.

I remember, as a kid, asking my friends, “What do you mean, you’ve got nothing to do?”

Being constantly inspired and excited for life is a beautiful thing, but then when I do take some time to do something relaxing (even at the end of the day) I just end up feel guilty. And so goes the cycle of burn out followed by guilt-ridden breaks at inconvenient times (like, the night before an exam).

So, what is the solution?

Happiness and habits researcher, Gretchen Rubin, argues that you should schedule leisure time into you day. To some people, scheduling time to watch TV or read a book might sound silly, but for chronic dreamers, inventors and goal-getters, like me, I’ve found it’s an incredibly effective technique. I call it Mandatory Chill Time. Mandatory Chill Time is just as important as work, sleep, chores and anything else on the schedule.

Right after I finish this blog post, I’ve scheduled some guilt-free MCT.

Would you try Mandatory Chill Time?

December Goals

I learned something SO important about goal setting in November: don’t deviate from what works!

I believe in setting goals that feel impossible because they motivate you to have to think differently, act differently and show up to your day differently. In November, I made the ultimate mistake. I set realistic goals – and I didn’t hit any of them.

With that in mind, here are my goals for December:

I will easily get to 50 push ups in a row by December 31st, 2019.
I will easily put on an online workshop by December 31st, 2019.
I will easily meditate without guided audio every day of December, 2019.

I feel excited and slightly scared by these goals, which is how I know I’ve set the right ones.

What are your goals for the last month of the decade?

I am enough

There are 4 words that can describe the root of so many of our problems: I am not enough.

Tonight I went to London to see Superstar, a play by actress Nicola Wren, about her desire for superstardom and her longing for her siblings’ admiration. (One of her siblings happens to be Chris Martin from ColdPlay – and the play is, in part, her “coming out” as Chris’ sister. Highly recommend it, it was brilliant).

The theme “I am not enough” came up time and time again.

From the age of 7, Nicola narrated a story inside her head that the way to get approval from her siblings, the way to receive their love, was to be a giant success as an actress, so they could say “I’m so proud of you!”

And the thing is, famous family member or not, we all want to feel like we are enough. Smart enough, beautiful enough, successful enough, wealthy enough... It’s not a quality we are born with, it’s one we adopt from an early age. Babies don’t come out of the womb believing they aren’t good enough, the feeling of inadequacy is indoctrinated into us. As renowned psychotherapist, Marisa Peer says: Babies don’t think “Oh, don’t look at me! I’m not beautiful enough! I’m not successful enough!” They feel 100% worthy of your attention, even when they cry and poop and make a complete mess. They believe they are worthy of love, just for existing.

And they are.

As time goes on, we begin to believe that we must earn love, by doing or being a certain way. And it’s a horrible lie.

So how do we get out of this awful predicament?

By changing the story in our heads from “I will when enough when...” to simply “I am enough.”

I am enough. I am enough. I am enough.