How to Stay Positive While Pursuing Your Dreams

The number one question I get asked is “How are you always so positive?” Here’s my mindset behind how I stay positive when my dreams feel so impossible and far away.

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The Impossible Oobah Butler

Millennial filmmaker, Oobah Butler got his backyard London restaurant to #1 on TripAdvisor. Only it didn’t exist. The ultimate bamboozle.

He didn’t stop there. Next up, crashing Paris fashion week – as a fake designer, Georgio Peviani.

Then once again, he fooled the world by sending fake versions of himself to do media interviews.

What I admire about Oobah isn’t his excellently honed trickster skills, but his belief that anything is possible.

Want to get to #1 on TripAdvisor? Easy.
Crash Paris Fashion Week? Piece of cake.
Get not-so-uncanny doppelgangers to stand in for you? Of course.

I think there’s a lot to learn from Oobah’s creative, no-mission-too-big approach and his can-do attitude.

Doesn’t he just make you think about things from a new angle? How could you be more creative in your goal pursuits?

It all starts with the question: What if…?

Take OrganisAction

Don’t let your ideas be ideas.

Writing out ideas or plans in a journal feels like productivity. It feels like we're getting things done. But if those ideas stay ideas, the activity is the exact opposite of productive: it's time wasting.
'Organized' is not synonymous with 'productive'.

You can have colour-coded folders and journals and planners filled to the brim, but unless action takes place, you're not actually progressing.

My friend Ashley Shapiro recently introduced me to a mashup word she coined: Organisaction.
Taking action during organisation.

Don't write a list of everything that needs to get done today.
Schedule the tasks into your calendar.
Set an actual meeting.
Hit send.

Whatever you do, get the ball rolling in the real world. Don’t let your ideas be ideas.
Take organisACTION.

What If It's Not Working?

You’ve set your impossible goal. You’ve been taking massive action. And it’s not working.

If you’re struggling, and it’s horrible, and you’re exhausted, and you cry a lot, and the whole thing is miserable.

That’s how you know you’re doing it RIGHT.

It’s supposed to suck. That’s why you set an impossible goal in the first place. You want to do something that most people aren’t willing to do. You want to test yourself, to see how far you can push your limits.

Nobody wants to hear the story of the person who set a goal and achieved it with no trouble at all. We want to hear the story of the person who achieved something impossible against all odds.

Staying positive with your impossible goal isn’t about pretending it’s all going right. it’s about embracing the struggle and saying, bring it baby.

Growth Friends

One of the best habits I’ve cultivated is having ‘growth friends’ – people in your life that are committed to pushing their limits and growing in the same way as you.

We all need mentors to guide us, but the power of growth friends is something else.

I’ve blessed to have:

• A business growth friend

• A coaching growth friend

• An entire mastermind group of high performance growth friends

• And I facilitate my own membership site, Impossible Incubator, which includes weekly mastermind calls between the members who, through the process of working on their goals together, have become growth friends.

Each of these friends in my life support my dreams and I support theirs. Our conversations are more than about fun and games, they’re about motivating each other to go after our dreams, coming up with strategies and plans, overcoming obstacles, executing, and holding each other accountable.

Who could you enlist to be a growth friend in your life?

Simplify Everything

Simplicity is one of the keys to creating your dream.

Removing all of the unnecessary tasks and distractions in disguise, leaving only what is necessary.

Only what is important.

Only what will actually bring results.

Trashing the rest.

You Don't Find Love, You Build It

My boyfriend cooks, cleans, and writes gratitude journals with me – and we’ve never once had a fight in the almost 5 years we’ve been together.

People sometimes ask me “where did you find him?!”

And I joke that I didn’t find him – I built him.

But I don’t really mean that, of course. What I mean is that together, we built the relationship we wanted.

Right from the start, we consciously chose to build a relationship with intention. We had conversations in our first few weeks together about how we would communicate, what we would put up with and what we wouldn’t stand for in our relationship, and that conversation has never stopped.

Early on, we set an three intentions that I believe are a huge factor to our happiness:

1. Always put the other person first. How can you fight when there’s always someone putting your needs first? When you put the other person first, and they put you first, everyone gets cared for, 100% of the time, and there’s never any selfishness.

2. Communicate – not some of the time, all of the time. Don’t just say what you’re thinking, say what the deeper root of the issue is. Voice your fear, not your anger.

3. Have a shared vision for how you want your life to be, and how you want to contribute to the world.

You might be waiting for the part where I say "But don’t worry, we occasionally fight, and that’s healthy.”

But it’s not coming, because the thing is, I don’t fight with anyone in any of my relationships. As a society, we act like shouting and slamming doors is a healthy part of a relationship, but let’s face it, Ross and Rachel were not happy.

So why do we feel the need to qualify a happy relationship with a statement about how sometimes things are negative? Girl, I’m not here to apologize for having a fantastic relationship! We need MORE people in the world showing what a happy relationship looks like (it’s not Monica and Chandler either).

But this isn’t about romance, it’s about human connection. I’m here to unapologetically shout from the rooftops that ALL my relationships are filled with genuine love. With my mum, my sister, my boyfriend, my grandparents, my cousins, my friends and my clients. Together, we built them that way.

I believe everyone can have deeply fulfilling, happy, peaceful relationships.

The first step is choosing to build one.

My Manifesto

If I could sum up my brain and beliefs for you in one bite-sized chunk, this is it.

1) Nobody ever changed the world with a realistic idea. If you want an extraordinary life, set impossible goals.

2) Your identity controls your actions, and your actions control your results. If you want to change your results, you have to first change your identity.

3) If you want to get from A to B, you have to BE the person at B. Take action from the version of you who has already achieved the thing you want.

4) If it matters, do it every day. Consistent action will change your life.

What Do You Ache for?

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

– Oriah Mountain Dreamer

What does your soul ache for?

That’s all I want to know.

Why Cool is an Emotional Straightjacket

Brené Brown once said “Cool is an emotional straightjacket.”

I spent the majority of my teenage years trying to be cool.
I spent way too much trying to MAKE myself enjoy snowboarding 🏂surfing 🏄‍♀️ drinking 🍷and yoga.
But it’s just not me.

I’m not cool.

And I don’t care. I’m tearing up my cool card.

🌸I’d rather drink decaf tea than alcohol.
🌸I’d rather stay in on a Saturday night than go out.
🌸I’d rather tap dance than pole dance.
🌸I’d rather watch Tony Robbins than Love Island.
🌸I’d rather go to a café than a bar.
🌸I’d rather wear no makeup than get made up every morning.
🌸I’d rather start my own coaching business than get a corporate job.

What’s cool for you may not be cool for other people.
And what’s cool for other people may not be cool for you.

Don't let someone else’s definition of cool define how YOU want to live YOUR life.

STOP TRYING TO BE COOL. BE YOU. 

Stay at home. Drink tea. Start your business. Do what YOU want.