The goalercoaster

You know the bit on the rollercoaster where you’ve been going up up up and then SUDDENLY you drop over the edge and your stomach is still in the air, and they dangle you upside down for what feels like forever and you almost throw up on the person next to you?

That’s what I felt like today. I had a moment today working on my business where everything seemed to go wrong in the space of 5 minutes and I was thinking, “ahhh, when do I get my BREAKTHROUGH?”

I’ve been working and working and working on my business for a year, and I AM seeing results. But some days, they seem to be coming very sloooowly. And I’ll be honest, I sometimes want to pull my hair out.

Am I even on the right path?! How do I know? Why did my launch strategy not go as planned? Will I EVER be as successful as I’d like to be? Why did I pick TODAY to go on a salad detox?

I’m not telling you this because I don’t believe in my goals. I 100% do.
I’m just telling you because I want to share that I have that voice inside my head just like everyone else, telling me I messed up.

I was actually having a conversation with my friend Georgia today about this one girl from our university who seems to have it ALL sorted. The house, the relationships, the job, the holidays, the outfits - everything. And I thought, I wonder if people think I have it all sorted? Because I wouldn’t like to give that impression!

I do NOT have it all sorted. And I’m totally okay with that! I want you to know YOU don’t have to have it all sorted either! Setting HUGE, impossible goals is a wonderful, fantastic, brilliant rollercoaster that I CHOSE to get on. And I wouldn’t get off it for anything. I love being on this goalercoaster (okay, excuse the cheesy phrase, I’m not expecting it to catch on).

It’s ironic, because yesterday my daily blog was titled “the best job ever”. The thing is, I still believe that.

The lows can be low. They can suck. But the highs are worth it 100x over.

So I’m taking a break this evening, but I’ll see y’all on the flip side of this goalercoaster.

Hot vs Cold regret

“You’re not scared to start your dream. You’re embarrassed to be seen starting small.” - Brendon Burchard

I get so many messages and comments about my goals and dreams that I’m sharing with the world. Most of them are positive, few are negative, but many are negative in disguise (hello, backhanded compliment).

“You’re not charging enough.”
”You’re charging too much.”
”That’s a big goal.”
”Your push ups aren’t on form.”
”I didn’t like that video.”
”You should have done xyz"."

(I’m like, bro, where’s your 100 push ups? Where’s your YouTube channel? It’s easier to judge from the sidelines than to get in the game. Don’t take advice from people who aren’t where you want to be).

People will judge you.

It’s true.

But are you willing to look back on your life and let someone else’s judgement be the reason that you didn’t accomplish your wildest dreams? The reason you didn’t live the life you were capable of? The reason you didn’t fulfil your potential?

The thought of that makes me feel ill.

Psychologists distinguish between two types of regret: hot regret and cold regret.

Hot regret is regretting something you did and wished you hadn’t.

Cold regret is regretting something you didn’t do and wished you had.

It turns out that cold regret haunts us more. You’re better off attempting your crazy, wild, impossible dreams and regretting it, than not attempting them and regretting it.

The day I started showing up online was the day I decided I will NEVER let someone else’s judgement decide my fate. I remember the moment. I was in bed and it just hit me out of nowhere, I was like WHAT AM I DOING. WHY AM I STILL HIDING? If I have a message that could help even one person, then I’m doing the world a disservice by hiding away for fear of judgement.

No more.

I love you all. Even the haters.

I'm on a Podcast!

Ahh! My first ever podcast interview! Today, my dear friend and Mindset Coach, Nicole Middleton, released her Fearlessly Free Podcast, and I’m SO honoured to be her first guest!

We talk about Impossible Goals, overcoming FEAR, deep connection, and a million other things that you HAVE to listen to. Nicole is a brilliant light in this world, so go and have a listen - and don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE to Fearlessly Free!

You can find Nicole on Instagram @fearlesslyfreenicole

Click to listen to the episode on iTunes or Spotify!

P.S. did you notice that the first image on my vision board I shared was of a Podcasting microphone?! So fun watching my vision board come to life!

Are you choosing to feel excellent?

Before!

After!

I went to the salon today and it was wonderful, 4 hours of getting pampered (I’m not usually someone who does anything like that, but I got invited to go, so it was such a treat).

But during those 4 hours, I had a lot of time to think, and I realised something kind of phenomenal about the interactions around me. People were sabotaging their own happiness the moment they stepped in the door.

Receptionist: ”Hi, how are you?”
Customer: ”Not bad”

And then another one. And another one. Same thing. “Not bad.”

And I just thought, woah.

What even is “not bad”?

It doesn’t actually give much information at all. Are you good? Sad? Ecstatic? Upset? Excited? Lonely? Warm?

Here’s why I don’t think it’s a good response: when you get in the habit of answering “not bad” to "how are you?” you are training yourself to hear the word “bad” all the time. And your brain is like ‘Oh okay, we’re doing bad today’. And because of something called confirmation bias (searching for information to support your beliefs, and ignoring information that doesn’t support your beliefs) you’ll come up with reasons to support that statement. E.g. I don’t want them to overcharge me, I hope I don’t get a bad haircut, I’m too busy for this… You’re literally training yourself to believe you’re feeling bad, all day long.

It’s like a subtle form of complaining, that you don’t even realise you’re doing.

When someone asks you how you are, it’s actually an opportunity for you to DECIDE how you want to be in that interaction. Do you want the interaction to go negatively? Then use keep using a negative word, like “bad” in the sentence you greet someone with.

Imagine if instead, you started saying “I’m excellent!” anytime someone asked you. Your brain will come up with reasons to support that statement. E.g. It’s a beautiful day, I’m here at the salon, about to get pampered, everyone is really friendly… And you’ll start off that interaction the way you’d like it to go.

(This is especially important if you stand to gain something from that interaction or relationship, right? Because if you want something from that person (or might want their help in the future), it pays to bring a positive energy to the conversation.)

Unless I really am feeling totally rubbish, I try to say “I’m excellent!” because it reminds me that you know what? I AM doing excellently! I’m alive, I’m free, I have food, water, shelter, I’m healthy, I’ve got friends and family and opportunities. Oh yes, I remember I’m excellent! Fabulous! Wonderful! Marvellous! Spectacular!

What a beautiful world it would be if we entered every conversation remembering how spectacular our lives really are.

Bring the fun

Today my friends I had a picnic in the park, and Aysha brought her adorable dog, Louis - who inspired me to change the way I think about my goals.

Louis was racing around the park, yapping away at strangers, having so much fun for absolutely no reason. There wasn’t anything happening - but he just decided it would be a good idea to create some fun. He wasn’t waiting for anyone else to make the day fun. He brought the fun with him.

It made me think about how sometimes when we set goals, we set them so big and so impossible that the excitement turns to dread and anxiety, and we end up feeling like our goals are totally not fun anymore.

However, the answer is NOT to quit, or lower the goal. You set that goal for a reason - you really, really want it. But when you’re under all this pressure to get to the finish line, you forget to enjoy the process. You forget that the fun is in the pursuing of the goal - the fun is now.

But it doesn’t always feel that way. I’m totally guilty of making fun things not fun. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in thinking about what my business “should be” doing, that I forget I started it just for fun! In fact, after we have our basic needs sorted, even life is just for fun! But instead of just ignoring the boring or tough tasks in life, or expecting them to be fun, I believe the answer is to BRING the fun with us.

That’s my new motto, thanks to Louis: BTF, Bring The Fun.

So tomorrow, I’m having a full day of fun. I’m still going to do everything I have to get done, but I’m going to BTF! I’ll keep you updated on how it goes! #ChannelingLouis!

And She's Only 22

Have you ever heard the saying, “you’re never too old to follow your dreams”?

It’s great advice. But if you’re like me and you’re relatively young, you probably think you should wait until you’re older or have ‘more experience’ before you can really do what you want to do. Wait until you’re 30 because THEN you’ll be good enough.

Major imposter syndrome, right?

My age used to be my biggest hang up in following my dream to be a life coach.
I thought, “who in their right mind would want to hire a 22 year old life coach?”

Well, as it turns out, people - young and old - do want to hire me, because I’m actually great at what I do.

But I still had imposter syndrome.

“I’m only 22” just kept playing in my head over and over and over.

Who would hire me? I’m only 22.
Why would they want to work with me? I’m only 22.
Who will take me seriously? I’m only 22.

Until one day, I was at a life coaching event and I overheard someone say about me:

“…and she’s only 22!”

That little ‘and’ made all the difference.

“She’s doing all this amazing stuff, and she’s only 22! I wish I had started at 22. Imagine where she’ll be at 40!”

Suddenly, it was like the cloud cleared in my head.
Ohhhh! My age could be viewed as an advantage.

A tiny shift in perception can change the way you see your whole world.

You’re never too old or too young to start. Your experience is valid, just for being you on this earth, you have wisdom and gifts to share with the world. And honey, this world could use every little bit of help it can get!

So next time you’re feeling inadequate, remember that it’s your own bullshit talking and you get to CHOOSE how you see yourself. Even if you’re only 22.

How I overcame my fear of flying

I have a video for you guys today! It’s all about exactly what I did to overcome my fear of flying, and the steps you can take to overcome it too. It’s not like every other video (believe me, I’ve watched almost every video on YouTube about fear of flying!), it’s not even about planes or flying, it’s about your identity and your mindset. You have the power to change your thinking! I have no idea when I even discovered this cure, but I feel so incredibly free. I feel like it’s my duty to share it! (In fact, that’s what got me to create the video when usually I’d be so concerned about lighting and camera and everything - but I feel like this video can help so many people, I couldn’t wait another day so I just made it!).

Let me know if you have questions, you can comment by clicking the title of this blog post, or on the actual YouTube video itself.

I hope it helps you! <3

Insights from Budapest

Budapest is MAGIC. After 20 thousand steps of walking around the city today, I wrote 15 pages of mindset journaling! I feel so inspired, the people I have met here have absolutely transformed my thinking and my mindset. As cliché as it is - I feel like I’m a different person.

More learning lessons from today:

1. I am abundant NOW. I have everything I need right now to step into the future, ideal version of myself. I choose to step into that identity right now.

2. Changing your IDENTITY is at the core of any problem you think you have. If you think you are a healthy, wealthy, happy person - that is who you ARE, and who you will become more of. If you’re not those things - look what you’re holding onto as part of your identity. Is this problem you have part of your identity? Let it go. Choose a new identity.

3. There is literally nothing stopping me (or you) from being exactly where I (or you) want to be. I just need to step into my ideal self’s mindset and start taking action from the place she would take action from.

I’m so excited to elaborate on all of these concepts over the next few days and really speak about them in depth. I don’t feel like I can do the energy of my excitement justice in writing, I think this has come to a point where video is necessary too. I’M SO PUMPED!

Heading back to England tomorrow as a whole new person with a new identity (might need a new passport?!).

Budapest VIP Day

I feel like my mindset has had a facelift.

How is it even possible to do this much up-leveling in one day?
Today I attended Mindset Coach Susi Kaeufer’s Budapest VIP Day, and the only way I can explain it is like when you know something, but then you hear it another way, and you REALLY get it. That a-ha feeling, that click.

I got that with so many things today. Susi trained us from a workbook and then coached us all individually, which was ah-may-zing!

I’ve just been journaling for 2 hours frantically trying to download all the insights I received from my brain onto paper, and here are my main takeaways:

1. I can actually run my business now exactly the same way I want to run it when it’s as big as I envision it to be - just do it on a smaller scale. For example, in my ideal version of my business, I’ll have a fantastic team of people supporting me and get massages every week. So:
   Hire my first team member now. Even just for one hour a week.
   Get a 15 minute massage every month or two.

2. As soon as I embody the person who meditates/blogs/exercises daily, I don’t need to schedule them on my to-do list everyday. Breakfast isn’t on my to-do list. It’s just a task I do everyday because it’s part of who I am. So why is “mindset work” still on there, when I’ve naturally been do mindset journaling and personal development work everyday for years? (I deleted it from my habit tracker). My to-do’s can graduate to “of course I do’s” (of course I do work on my mindset everyday!).

3. My daily blogs don’t always have to be written ON the day. If I need a day off, I can write one ahead of time. (So obvious, but for some reason I was locked into “I have to write it ON the day”).

4. My youtube channel: Taking the pressure OFF making perfect content and reaching my goal of 100k (still a goal, just removed the pressure that was paralysing me from creating any content at all). Doing it for FUN.
   Journaling prompt: Now that I’m creating content totally for fun with no expectations, what do I want to create?
   This has really made me think. I’ll keep you posted.
   

I could write this blog to be 10,000 words long (I’m pretty sure that I’ve written half a journal full of thoughts already, and I’m not done for today), but I’ll leave you with my biggest takeaway from the day. If you are struggling with ANYTHING, ask yourself:

“Now that I am already the person who X, what would I do?”
(X = is successful/got the A+ grade/got the job etc).

Essentially, imagine you are already the person you’ll become once you’ve achieved the thing you want. What would that version of yourself do in this situation?

Celebrate your wins

Even my face mask had “to do list” written on it, haha! A sign?!

Today I took a few hours today to celebrate my wins in the last week with friends - face masks, delicious food and even an hour of Virtual Reality (that was insanely cool!).

In the last week I:

1. Launched my membership site, Impossible Incubator, something I’ve been working on for 5 months!

2. Ran my first ever mastermind call, and it was FANTASTIC. So many insights of my own about my own goals and dreams (namely: dream EVEN bigger!).

3. Booked a trip to Budapest for this coming weekend to go to a Personal & Business Development event with one of my favourite coaches in the world.

4. Had my best friend Georgia to stay, all the way from Singapore.

5. Connected with a fellow coach to work alongside in the future.

6. Had 3 amazing client calls that were all transformative and on FIRE.

7. Have been showing up every single day online, just liked I’d planned.

8. Have set some even bigger goals and commitments for August & September around my Impossible Goals (Particularly for my Youtube channel & my 100 Push Ups). I’ll share all about them soon!

9. Up-leveled my mindset again. I feel like I’m really getting grips with how important it is to SHOW UP EVERY SINGLE DAY for my goals.

I think it’s really important to acknowledge our successes, no matter how small they are. It can be so easy to shrug off our triumphs day to day as nothing, but when you look back over a week (or a year!), you realise how far you’ve truly come. I don’t want to rush onto the next goal without celebrating each step of the way. Otherwise, what’s the point?

If you haven’t taken a moment to look back recently, take a moment to write a list of your successes and thank yourself making the sacrifices it took to get here. You might be surprised at how far you’ve actually come such a short time!