How setting impossible goals changed everything for me

Running today in the park near our house

The grey circles are the days that I didn’t run but also didn’t shower (so they still count as successful). If I were to shower without exercising, I would have to colour it RED! Ah!

I had no idea that the word impossible would transform my entire life.

Impossible fires me up. When I hear someone say the word impossible, I’m like, challenge accepted.

One of my biggest fears is leaving this world without having made a positive impact. And the thought of leaving it in a worse state than when I arrived here (e.g. from my carbon footprint, damage to the planet or the beings on it) makes me feel absolutely sick to my stomach.

What lights me up is my vision of an extraordinary life! Going for a run occasionally doesn’t fuel me with excitement. I don’t want to sort-of live life. I want to go ALL IN on life.

Turns out I need an IMPOSSIBLE GOAL to be fired up.

Impossible goals that I’m actively working on day to day:
I have a bunch, you can read about the others here, but these are the one’s I’m working on at the moment:

1. Showing up online every single day for TWO YEARS (e.g. blogging, Instagram, Instastories, Facebook, Youtube etc.). Just getting started - I’m on day 5!

2. Meditating every single day for a whole year (day 125 today).

3. Exercising every single day (or I don’t get a shower) I’m on day 47, 39 of which have been running days, 8 no shower. I’m totally astonished at how by setting an impossible goal to exercise every single day, I’ve suddenly been able to become a runner, after 23 years of thinking I just wasn’t the TYPE of person who could go for a run.

I feel a buzz every evening when I get to check these goals off on my habit tracker. Nothing feels as good as going to sleep with a perfect record, knowing today I’m one step closer to doing something I used to think was impossible for me!

'Tired' is just a state of mind

Today I felt exhausted. I had the longest to do list and I just didn’t feel like doing any of it. Especially going for a run.

But I managed to complete WAY more than I thought I would because I changed my beliefs about my mental state. I DECIDED I am full of energy!

Tiredness is just a state of mind.

I’m not talking about physical exhaustion here (just to be clear: you absolutely need to take care of yourself and make sure you’re getting enough sleep and the right nutrition).

I’m talking about the mental exhaustion that we bring upon ourselves in our thoughts. The pretend tiredness. The tiredness we subconsciously CHOOSE to buy into, because we can’t be bothered dealing with the things we know we need to do to progress our lives forward. When you’ve come home after a long day of work and you’ve promised yourself you’ll work on that new business idea or podcast you wanted to start, but then you just end up sitting in front of the TV doing nothing. Your mind is tricking you. You aren’t tired. You’re choosing to feel tired.

I know that this is going to cause some pushback, like my last post!

But the thing is, you already know that you get to choose how you feel. You know that YOU control your thoughts, which control your feelings, which control your actions. You get to change your mental state by changing your beliefs about the situation.

How do you do it?

When I was a kid, people used to ask me how I always had so much energy. I remember being confused and saying, “...you just make it!”

A lesson from my 8 year old self: Try it, right now. Decide to be energised. Close your eyes, and consciously imagine filling your whole body with energy, starting from your toes and bringing it all the way to the crown of your head. Feel it vibrating through your body. Throw your hands up in the air and jump up! Put on a song and dance around! Your mind has the power to give yourself renewed energy.

I choose to feel energised!

Envy is inspiration in disguise

Nice girls don’t get jealous.

We’ve banished envy to the naughty corner, making it out to be this awful emotion that we should feel guilty for even FEELING, let alone ADMITTING.

What absolute BS. I’m outing myself, I get jealous! Absolutely, outrageously emerald with envy! And I’m unapologetic about it.

Today, I was scrolling through Instagram and it just hit me like a WAVE. Ka-DOOSH! I got a major hit of envy over someone I really admire, who’s absolutely crushing it in business, seemingly without any effort. She posted a photo about her fabulous life and I turned into a green monster faster than you can say “50,000 likes”. But you know what? I’m not feeling an ounce of guilt for feeling that way. Instead of pretending I wasn’t jealous, I just admitted it! I don’t want to pretend that I’m not jealous.

BUT instead of letting that jealousy turn into vengeance, we can allow jealousy to guide us.

Jealousy is a desire compass. It’s inspiration in disguise.

WHY am I jealous of her?

1. She has built her business to a brilliant level of success in a really short amount of time

2. She has loads of followers who care about what she’s doing

3. People ADORE and rave about her products and services

4. She makes loads of money (I’m definitely going to talk about money in another post, I have so much to say on this topic!)

5. She’s so honest with the world

6. She’s constantly traveling to exotic places

What does that say about my desires?

1. I desire a level of success like she has

2. I’d love to have a follower base who really care about the work I do

3. I want to put out brilliant products and services

4. I’d love to make loads of money (again, soooo taboo for women to say, going to discuss this in the future!)

5. I would like to be more honest with the world

6. I’d love to do more travel

Why am I grateful to her?

1. Because she has shown me what is possible for me

2. Because she has made mistakes I can learn from

3. Because she has paved a path that I can follow

All of a sudden I feel fantastically inspired and excited and motivated! If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t even KNOW I wanted all of those things. She helped guide my desires. I want to THANK her for showing me a future I can have! I want to rise up to the challenge of building that for myself, not tear her down to make me feel better about my own situation.

Let your envy drive your heart to unexpected places.

Ever wonder what your purpose is, where to go next, or where to begin? Let envy take hold of the wheel and it will drive you to the foot of someone else’s castle to show you what to build. Your only job now is to lay your first brick.

Mantra: My Envy Is My Inspiration.

Also on the list of things I got jealous of today: This bathroom I saw at a friend’s house.
Flipping the jealousy into inspiration: I now know the exact bathroom I want in my future dream house.

Don't be productive, be progressive.

For a long time, I’ve mistaken productivity for progression.

There’s already school of thought around “Don’t be busy, be productive.” But I want to take it a step further. Don’t be productive, be progressive.

Here’s the difference:

Busy = doing things
Productive = doing focused things
Progressive = doing focused things that move your life forward in the direction you want to go

If only I’d discovered this third category sooner. I’ve been pulling my hair out over the last year wondering why even though I’m focused and getting things done, I don’t seem to be moving forward at the pace I’d like.

Sure, you were productive today. But did you make progress?

My day today:

Wake up
Gratitude journal
Eat breakfast
Brush my teeth
Meditate
Hang up a load of washing
Go for a run
Shower
Put on another load of washing
Edit video for Impossible Incubator
Eat lunch
Mindset journaling
Post on Instagram stories
Hang up another load of washing
Watch youtube
Cook picnic food
Go for dinner with friends on the beach
Write this blog post

Can you spot the only progressive thing I actually did?

At the end of my day, I have to be totally honest with myself and ask “If today were erased from existence, would it affect my future?”

I can’t kid myself that putting on 3 loads of washing and going for a run is truly progressing my life forward. My run today won’t affect my life in 1 years time. I could go running every day for the next year and still be in the exact same place in my life. The same with my meditation, or my gratitude journal. They are both good things to do. They are productive and important. But they aren’t progressing me towards my dreams.

The only progressive thing I actually did today was editing my video for my Impossible Incubator launch. It will affect my life in 1 years time, because if I don’t get this launch ready, I’ll have to push it back ANOTHER month, and that will delay my future youtube videos, and podcast, etc.

Seems kinda harsh. But I wish I’d known earlier, I could have saved myself a lot of wasted days.

Ask yourself, did I do something to progress my life forward in the direction of my dreams today?
If the answer isn’t a definite YES, then plan something progressive to do tomorrow, right now!

Showers aren't given: they're earned

Today I woke up and immediately went for a 15 minute run. I’ve been doing this for 43 days now. I’ve only ‘missed’ 7 days. But they aren’t actually missed days, because my running is part of my new rule: I can only shower if I’ve earned it, by exercising enough to need to wash off sweat. Gross, but unbelievably effective.

Just like respect, showers aren’t given, they must be earned.

So on the 7 days I didn’t run, I also didn’t shower. And now I’m 43 days strong. It works because I love showering. Or, more specifically, I love being clean. (Or, even more accurately: I really don’t like smelling bad - who does?). Me, 43 days ago, would never believe it. I have NEVER in my life been so consistent with exercise. Ever.

The other day, I didn’t have time to go for a run, so I didn’t get to shower. And the next day I was so busy editing my latest video I didn’t get a chance in the morning - and all day I felt hot and icky and greasy (it’s summer in England!). By 6pm when I’d finished editing, I was exhausted and certainly didn’t feel like exercising. But the pain of being sticky and icky outweighed the pain of going for a run. And so I went for a run, and earned my shower. It felt so. good. to be clean.

This rule works like magic to form a habit. I can’t believe I never knew about it until now. I’m even considering creating another habit using this rule " ____ aren’t given they’re earned” E.g. “Social media isn’t given, it’s earned”.

P.S. I didn’t invent this rule. I have no idea where I originally heard about it, so if you know the person, please share so I can thank them with a jumbo bouquet of shower gel!