One thing

Today we’re headed from Brighton to Cardiff to go and visit Daniel’s new baby cousin! So cute, I can’t wait to meet him. 

It’s a 5 hour journey (writing as we go - I’m not driving!) so I’ve had a lot of time to think - and so I’ve been devising a plan for the last 3 months of this decade (I didn’t even believe it when someone told me that yesterday - 3 months left of this decade?!).

One of the major learning lessons I’ve had in 2019 is to prioritise my ONE THING.

The reason I managed to create my membership site, Impossible Incubator, is because I stopped trying to focus on ANYTHING else. I made it my one thing. And even more specifically, I made each task ahead my one thing. I remember being overwhelmed by the prospect of creating videos with a videographer, so I broke it down into small steps and physically covered up everything else on my to do list with a sticky note until I had found a videographer. That was my only task. I wasn’t even allowed to do anything else to do with that project until I’d done that step. Then once I’d found a videographer, I focused on writing the content for the videos. Nothing else but that. And so on until I ended up creating an entire membership site.

That technique worked so well for me, that I’ve decided to put weekly YouTube videos off until 2020 so I can focus on really nailing this blog. However, as one of my impossible goals is to reach 100k subscribers on YouTube (I think I’m at 270 as of today, haha), I’m definitely not giving up, just prioritising my blogging goals as my ONE THING first.

I’m really keen to focus on my blog and creating better and better content for you guys. (And then my next ONE THING is to work on some free content to share how I set and commit to my impossible goals, which should be coming your way by the end of the month 🤞).

Chill

Sometimes I’m so go go go that I forget to relax, so I’ve started scheduling time into my calendar to relax. Instead of making relaxation a reward for completing all the things (all the things never actually get done), seeing it as it's own important aspect of life (because it is – our brains and bodies need time to rejuvenate in order to function at 100%). It might seem a little over the top to actually schedule relaxation into your schedule, but tonight I did and it worked really well (we watched Cool Runnings and did face masks, which was a brilliant combination). I didn’t feel guilty for taking time off because I had scheduled it into my week – not that I should feel guilty anyway, but it can be easy to get so focused anything else feels like a distraction. Tomorrow we head to Cardiff for the weekend, which I’m really excited about because I’m looking forward to a break from our usual routine.

Results are in

A while ago, I asked you guys what you thought the personal development capital of the world is (because wherever it is, I want to move there!), and I want to share the response I got. So many people responded to me on Instagram, and almost no one said the same thing! However, of all the answers I received, California seemed to have the most votes – Los Angeles, San Fransisco and Hollywood received votes.

Can you see me moving to Cali? Let’s see what happens!

Why I'm not a realist

Doesn’t the world look so much better through rose coloured glasses? (Or in this case, a rose coloured lightroom filter?)

Realist: A person who believes in seeing things the way they really are, as opposed to how they would like them to be.

Optimist: a person who tends to be hopeful and confident about the future or the success of something.

I’m not a realist because while studying psychology at university, I learned all about the harmful affects of realism. Or in other words, the heath-boosting and success-inducing effects of optimism.

Studies show that positive illusions (favourable beliefs that are often exaggerated and inconsistent with reality) can actually slow down and even reverse both mental and physical illness.

One study by Taylor (2005) researched the effect of positive illusions on disease progression in men with HIV. Taylor found that the men who held onto optimistic beliefs despite a terminal diagnosis tended to live an average of nine months longer than those who accepted their terminal diagnosis.

He also found that of the men who had not yet developed symptoms of AIDS from their HIV, those who had positive beliefs regarding the future were less likely to develop the symptoms of AIDS within the next year than those without positive beliefs. He concluded that positive illusions can have a positive affect on physical health and slow the progression of some types of disease.

AND he found that even unrealistically optimistic beliefs had a protective factor for mental health.

Unrealistically optimistic beliefs. Being “unrealistic” is good for your health. Dude.

That’s why I’m determined to be totally unrealistic.

The mind is freaking POWERFUL. Don’t dull it down with realistic ideas.

Frustration is the precursor to a breakthrough

Gah. Sometimes it feels like I’m banging my head against a brick wall with my goals, struggling and struggling away with seemingly no progress. But recently while I was on a call with one of my clients, observing her do the same thing, I was able to observe an interesting pattern. The best moments in her life were always preceded by her biggest moments of terror, frustration and anxiety. That understanding helped me see: If you want to have a breakthrough, you have to have a some that needs breaking through. You can’t have a brilliant, genius breakthrough if everything is coasting along smoothly. You can’t break through thin air. You can however, break through a wall, or even a glass ceiling. I try to remind myself of that. Before each life-changing breakthrough, there’s a wall of frustration. Frustration is the precursor to a breakthrough. It’s a necessity for greatness.

If you’re feeling frustrated, stuck or exhausted, try to see it as a good sign – it’s setting you up for your biggest breakthrough yet.

Push ups: Week 8

Day: 55
Push up ability: 20

20% of the way to my goal – super pumped to hit 20 push ups in a row!

Where I'm at: I certainly haven’t been training hard enough at all. I’ve barely been training since my last update in week 6. I’m actually stoked I didn’t drop below 18, I thought I was going to be moving backwards, that’s how much I didn’t train! I mean, even in I think I could be at 30 by now if I had worked at it properly. Which is why I’m kicking it up a notch this month! I’ve decided to train every single day (apart from rest days).

I’ve been trying to work on my form too, getting as low as I can (chin touching the ground!) and keeping my body as flatlined as I can.

I can feel how much more is in me. 20 is tough at the moment, but I can just tell there’s 100 in me. And it’s not even that far away, I feel. I thought this might take years to accomplish, but I think it’s going to happen faster than that. I’m going to train hard out over the next month (I’m flying to NZ – 31,000 ft push ups, anyone?!) but I’m going to try to get push ups in most days.

I’ll keep you updated!

Colour

My photos are usually black and white so it’s fun experimenting with some colour! One of my goals is to blog everyday for 2 years, and when I began, my intention wasn’t to write a post last minute before I fell asleep and put on a random image from my phone (which is what has been happening) – my intention was to document my goals and my day. So today is the start of me really trying to do that! I spent some time at a cafe today doing some work on the computer, but it was really dark inside so I popped outside to take photos by this colourful wall. I’m super keen to work on my photography too. I’ll keep you updated, and hopefully my photography (or my photographic directing, since I didn’t take these photos!) gets better and better. This month I’m really going to work on that. I’ve got a coaching call now and then time to meditate and relax this evening (I can feel some Desperate Housewives coming on…) – talk soon!

I've had it!

Financial guru Dave Ramsey says that people don’t make a real change until they say this one phrase: “I’ve had it!”

Sometimes it just takes that feeling that comes with being fed up, being exhausted, having had enough, before you are truly motivated to change.

That’s what the last month was for me. I had several “I’ve had it” moments across different areas of my life and decided things were going to have to change.

Even though I’d tried to change them before (finances, aspects of my business etc), I hadn’t really committed at the level I did once I had my “I’ve had it” moment.

If you haven’t had an ‘I’ve had it!’ moment, you’ve probably experienced something similar to it.

Translations for the “I’ve had it!'“ moment:

• Enough is enough!

• That’s it!

• I’m done!

• Screw this!

• It’s over!

Although the period of change SUCKS (I really feel that at the moment as I’m doing 80 hour weeks in my business and freelancing to sort my life out), it’s a relief to be making the change. I know in the future, I’ll be on the other side of it, so grateful I pushed myself, congratulating myself like Snoop Dogg.

Before and after

Let’s talk COMPARISON. I don’t endorse spending your time comparing yourself to others and their success, but when you’re aiming for impossible goals, it can be easy to think about the end result (and the people who have that end result) and compare yourself to them. I’ve got a video coming on this soon, which I’m pumped to share, but today I want to share a different perspective on comparison.

Today I had a light bulb moment – instead of fighting comparison, use it to your advantage.

Instead of simply “stop comparing yourself to other people”, I want to flip that to “stop comparing yourself to other people’s today.” Start comparing yourself to other people’s beginnings.

My biggest inspirations before and after. Brendon’s is about 20 years difference, Janni’s is about 7 years difference.

Where could I be in 7 or 20 years? Where might you be?

If you are really going to compare yourself and you’re at the before stage, then compare yourself to someone else’s before stage. It might show you where you could be after! Turns jealousy into motivation real fast.

Dedication

I’ll be honest, I was so drained from working insane hours this week that let a few tears loose last night. But it’s quotes like these that remind me why I’m doing what I’m doing. Sometimes it feels like to reach my goals, I have to move further away from them. I hope that it’s like the analogy of a bow and arrow – you have go backwards to catapult forwards. I hope this is my catapult, my run up. But no matter what, I’m dedicated to my goals, I’m dedicated to my vision for the impact I want to have.

Elizabeth Gilbert is in my opinion, one of the most brilliant writers that has ever walked this earth. Her book Big Magic changed the lens I look through completely. This quote is from Big Magic. I treasure it, and I want to bring it with me everyday.

It’s not about the end result, it’s about commitment to the path.