The Habit of the Habit is More Important Than the Habit Itself

I stayed up until 4am last night just to post on Instagram, write a blog post, meditate and do my push ups.

In the past, it would have got to 12:30am, I’d think “Nah, sleep is more important than my habit tracker.”

And I can already hear my morning-person friends telling me off 😂

But here’s the thing I learned from the brilliant Gretchen Rubin: The habit of the habit is more important than the habit itself.

The world wouldn’t fall apart if I didn’t meditate or post on Instagram last night. And yet, the consequences could be drastic, because it’s about the consistency of showing up for my dreams every single day that matters.

That’s why I made a phone screensaver of my motto:

There’s a reason I’m always banging on about this motto – it has changed my life so rapidly in the last few months.

• I’ve gone from 0-40 push ups. Last night I smashed out 20 without even feeling a thing. Every single day, I train (and on rest days, I condition my body, so I’m always doing SOMETHING towards my goal of 100 push ups).

• I’ve meditated for 291 days in a row. For real.

• I’ve written 170 blog posts.

• I’ve built a membership site that I’m in love with, that has amazing people in it.

There’s a lot of hype about being consistent, but it’s the DAILY consistency that is the real trick to making success part of your DNA.

Feel free to screenshot or save it to your phone screensaver too!

Gary Vee Mode: Update

Today I was searching through my website when I stumbled across a post from last year: Gary Vee Mode.

On the post, I set myself a goal to go into “Gary Vee Mode” for 4 days. Think of it like Hell Week in the Army, but for online content. (Haha okay, I see why people call me dramatic!)

Every single day it involved:

1. Post on my blog (as usual)

2. Post on Instagram stories (10x minimum)

3. Film and post a YouTube video

4. Post on Instagram

5. Post on Facebook

6. Post on Tik Tok

This ‘mode’ started because I had announced that I feared I wasn’t truly putting in the effort required to achieve my dreams. That’s a bitter pill to swallow. Unless you spit it out.

And I’m so excited when I look back because now I can tell you I well and truly spat it out. (Don’t ask me where this is metaphor going.)

Last year, I was struggling to put out content. This year, I’m happy to say that I’m finally producing a lot more content. Not Gary Vee level (64 posts a DAY), but I no longer feel like I’m not putting in enough effort.

The only thing on that list I’m not doing every day is creating a YouTube video. Now it’s my goal to put up a YouTube video every week. But everything else, I do every single day.

And even though it sometimes takes me into the middle of the night (like right now, it’s one in the morning), it feels. so. good.

Of course, I don’t wish to be “hustling” all day and night to get content out forever, but as I create more, I’m getting the content out quicker and quicker.

Like I said yesterday in my post about how you’ve already made it, I believe the real dream is the struggle along the way – the pursuit.

#honourthestruggle!

You’ve Already Made It

The dream isn’t achieving a certain thing or reaching a certain milestone.

The dream is never giving up. The dream is the pursuit. The dream is the struggle along the way.

“You can measure your worth by your dedication to your path, not by your successes or failures.”

― Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic

The hustle, the struggle, the pain – they are the achievements.

You don’t play a game to win, you play a game to play.

And you’re already playing the game.

You have permission to stop fighting the crippling feeling of ‘not being there yet’. You are already here. Welcome. You’ve arrived! (And you’ve been here all along).

Breathe out.

No matter how far away your end goal seems, there’s no doubt:

You’ve already made it.

Hire an Imaginary Manager

Every single day, I keep habits.

• Meditating

• Blogging

• Push ups

• Social media

• Vitamins

Some i don’t even think about, like brushing my teeth or teetotalling, and others require more effort to keep up, like meditating or posting on social media.

Recently I’ve been using the brilliant habit-keeping strategy employed by habits zealot, Gretchen Rubin: the strategy of the Imaginary Manager.

Imagine you’re a celebrity – one so glamorous and in-demand that you need a manager. Not a manager like a boss, but a manager that keeps your schedule and helps manage your booming career and VIP party invites.

My manager is called Barbara. I ‘hired’ Barbara in my first year of university when I was swamped with what felt like a million things to do for study, work, and social events.

When you’re unsure whether to follow a habit now (e.g. study for finals) or let yourself of the hook (e.g. go to the house party), you can ask yourself, “What would my manager say?”

Barbara would say things like:
“Sarah isn’t available right now, she’s got to meditate.”
“Sarah always does her push ups before dinner, I’m afraid she can’t take your call.”
“She has a prior appointment. She can’t attend your party at that time.”

Barbara knows what’s best for me. She’s like the cartoon angel on my shoulder.

I’ve even been known to leave Barbara sticky note to-dos (not even kidding).

If you’ve ever watched the TV show Suits, one of the main characters, Louis Litt, has an executive assistant known as Norma, and although we as viewers never actually see Norma, she is always alluded to (in one episode she even dies!). Louis leaves voice note memos to Norma daily.

The point is, Norma, Barbara, your higher self, whoever your manager is, they are there to set boundaries and keep your habits in check with a tight schedule. The beauty of your manager is that you are the boss of your manager, and your manager knows you inside and out. She knows what is best for you, but also what your biggest distractions are. She knows your strengths and your weaknesses. She knows you better than anyone in the whole world.

Imagine if you had a manager. Give him or her a name.

Then, whenever you’re contemplating a habit, you can ask yourself, ‘What would my manager say?’

This is surprisingly simple but highly effective for sticking to good habits.

I can almost never resist Barbara.

How I choose my Impossible Goals

Yesterday I shared my 2020 goals with you, but I realised that I’ve never actually shared my goal-setting process outright. I used to set goals just like we’re taught in school: SMART goals.
S = specific
M = measurable
A = attainable
R = realistic
T = time-bound

Until one day I had a giant epiphany.

I was reading an article about my dad, who had climbed Everest 5 times. The article reminded me something I had forgotten: The first time he climbed Mount Everest, it wasn’t even his biggest goal. Everest was just a stepping stone in a much bigger goal he and his climbing partner had: to break the world record for the fastest ascent of the 7 summits (the highest mountain on every continent).

Can you imagine that? Having a goal so big that Mount Everest is a SUB-GOAL, just a stepping-stone on your path to your actual dream?

It properly blew my mind. Suddenly it all clicked: nobody ever changed the world with a realistic idea. We didn’t go to the moon or climb Everest or run a 4-minute mile because it was SMART. We did it because it was impossible.

That SMART framework was keeping me stuck. When you look at the world’s most successful people, the high performers of this world, they aren’t restricting themselves with SMART goals.

The world’s highest performers are setting – and achieving – impossible goals.

Ever since that day, I’ve been obsessed with high performance and figuring out what exactly it is that high performers do that enables them to set and achieve impossible goals. After studying high performers across every discipline I could find, I came up with a framework that I noticed all high performers were using.

Amplify, Simplify, Multiply.

I’ve just uploaded my Impossible Goal Setting Masterclass where I show you this exact formula for impossible goal setting. You don’t want to miss this! Check it out here:

My 2020 Goals

I’m so excited to share my official goals for 2020! I’m so pumped to push my limits even further this year.

Bring it on!

1. Get to 100 push ups in a row. This is my health-related goal, and is a representation of my desire to get into the best heath of my life in 2020.

2. Help 111 people achieve their impossible goals in my Impossible Incubator membership. This is my business-related goal. This membership has been in the works for almost a year, and it’s finally ready to go all in. It’s like personal training for your wildest dreams. 111 people seems like an impossible goal, which is exactly why I set it – I love a challenge!

3. Foster my relationships. Social connection is our #1 predictor of happiness. I want to create a stronger network of incredible people I can serve and bring value to, and who I can lean on too. I would like this goal to be more specific (because it’s not easy to determine when I would be able to say I’ve achieved that. Changes may come.)

4. Show up online every single day bringing value to my audience. Because the most important lesson I learned in 2019 is “If it matters, do it daily.”

5. Post on YouTube every single week. I’ve been half-heartedly pursuing YouTube for a year, and wishing I had done it for 10 years. I’m not letting another decade slip by without perusing video.

6. Start or join a contribution/volunteer project. I want to give more back to this world that shows me so much love and so many blessings!

7. Speak on stage. This one is to push me way out of my comfort zone and propel me forward.

8. Do a breakdancing Windmill. This has been on my to-do list since I was 15 years old. This year I’m doing it!

9. Start a Britney Spears Dance Aerobics Class. There’s actually nothing I can think of that could be more fun.

What are your goals for 2020? Leave them in the comments below!

We think we know

So many of the things we think we know we really don’t know, because we aren’t actually doing them.

Like, we think we know that exercising daily is good for our health. But did we get ourselves to the gym?

We think we know that posting on YouTube twice a week will grow our channels. Yet where are our videos (hello, guilty: I’m talking to me now).

We have to stop saying “Yeah, I know, I know.” Because we don’t know. Unless we’ve been absolutely crushing it every day with healthy eating or exercising or youtube videos (or whatever it is that we think we know we need to do) for the last 6 months, then we don’t know.

This will make you happier

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” – Aesop.

Oh here we go, another boring post about gratitude. Yeah yeah, I KNOW, it’s important.

If I parachuted into your life right now, would be able to show me evidence of a daily gratitude practice?

Errrm… eeek.

So many of the things we think we know we really DON’T know, because we aren’t actually doing them.

Imagine how much happier your life could be – without even lifting a finger – if you acknowledged all the good there already is?

Gratitude, baby. Every single day.

My motto is If it matters, do it daily. IIMDID. I’ve said it so many times I want to get it printed on a t-shirt, and a mug. And make desktop screensavers.

When I first began daily gratitude journaling, I can honestly say I had the most blissful 3 months of my life. I'd never felt so content.

Here’s my gratitude practice:

Every morning, with my partner, we write gratitude journals (sometimes on paper, sometimes on an app). These are the questions we answer:

1. 3 things I am grateful for today…

2. Today I want to feel…

3. To make today great I will…

4. Affirmation. I am…

I’m telling you, this has changed my life, and it will change yours too. But only if you actually DO it.

You don't have to justify your ambition to anybody

Today is the beginning of a new decade. Your ambitions are set high and you know you’re going to change your life this year. That’s incredible.

When you set your ambitions high people are going to start asking WHY.

“Why would you want to do that?” or “Why are you being so greedy?” or “Why are you being so unrealistic?”

But guess what? You don’t have to justify your ambition to anybody.

You don’t need to justify your ambition for a lot of money with “I’ll give so much away!” or your ambition to lose weight with “I’m not doing it to look good, only to be healthy!” or your ambition to be a famous singer with “I’m only it in for the art.”

You can just say:

“I want to make a million dollars.” FULL STOP.
”I want to lose 30 pounds.” FULL STOP.
”I want to get a housekeeper.” FULL STOP.
”I want to start a business.” FULL STOP.
”I want to win an Oscar.” FULL STOP.
”I want to go to the Olympics.” FULL STOP.

Be unapologetic about your ambition. Ambitious people change the world.

December Goals Review

Hello beautiful people! It’s the last day of 2019, can you believe it?

It’s time for a review of my December goals:

I will easily get to 50 push ups in a row by December 31st, 2019.
SO. CLOSE. I got all the way to 40 before I sprained my wrist and then came down with an illness and spent the last 3 days of the year in bed (when I was supposed to be getting from 40-50 push ups). I’m still going to keep going as soon as I’m fully recovered and get back on track. Persistence, whatever it takes!

I will easily put on an online workshop by December 31st, 2019.
DONE. I worked on it almost every single day, even if it was just for 5 minutes. One of my biggest takeaways from 2019 (and my new motto) “If it matters, do it daily.” And it worked, I got it done!
Introducing… my Impossible Goal Setting Masterclass! Check it out here!

I will easily meditate without guided audio every day of December, 2019.

DONE. This one was harder than I thought because I’m used to doing guided meditations. It felt good to get back to just breathing. However, I think my optimum is switching between the two depending on my need that day.

The reason I believe this month was so much more successful than last month (where I didn’t achieve ANY of my goals!) is that I set goals that were exciting and felt slightly scary. It kept me on the ball, and never too relaxed about achieving them. Importantly, I had to think about each of them every single day. As Brendon Burchard says “Touch your dream every day.”

Looking forward to sharing my 2020 goals with you soon.

Happy New Years Eve everyone, thanks for making 2019 amazing, and I can’t wait to serve with you in 2020.