Self Love & Discipline

I don’t have to decide if I will show up for my goals today – because it’s not even a question. My actions are automatic.

But they weren’t always – my bestie Georgia will tell you she had to physically push PUBLISH on my first blog post for me because I had been procrastinating so much she couldn’t handle it anymore 😂

I was the WORST at getting up in the morning. I couldn’t get to work on time to save myself. 

When I stopped viewing discipline as restrictive, and started seeing it as the key to freedom, everything turned around.

You can be disciplined too.

Discipline is self love. It’s showing your future self how much you love her.

It’s doing the work in the morning so you can watch Netflix later, guilt-free.

Love yourself enough to give yourself the gift of self-discipline.

Find Waldo

Some of the best advice I’ve ever heard came from Kate White, ex-Editor in Chief of Cosmopolitan magazine:

When you want something, first find Waldo.

(Where I’m from, Waldo is called Wally (why did they need to rename him?) but you know the one, right? The guy dressed in a stripy red and white outfit from the children’s puzzle book?)

The idea is that there’s always someone who can give you what you want, or tell you exactly how to get it.

So often we try to do it on our own when if we just found Waldo, it would instantly make our goals 10x easier to achieve.

One of my clients had been trying to get work with a famous company for 5 months with no luck. We sent memos and emails and applied through their company website. Nothing. Crickets.

The moment she made contact with one of their employees, BAM – an instant referral to the CEO, who immediately offered her a job.

There is always a Waldo. Find them.

How to Hustle

Hustle gets a bad rap sometimes.

It’s said to cause burnout or exhaustion. But I don’t buy it.

Action isn’t what causes burnout.

Your thoughts and feelings are what cause burnout.

Because here’s the thing:

There are two different kinds of hustle:

1. Hustling from a place of lack

2. Hustling from a place of abundance

Hustling from lack = taking action to feel good

Hustling from abundance = taking action BECAUSE you feel good

You know you’re hustling from lack when:

• You’re feeling anxious and desperate

• Putting in a ton of effort feels painful and slow

• You’re taking action from a frantic, stressed-out place

• You feel like you have to force the outcome happen

• You’re micromanaging your to-do list

• You’re burning out

You know you’re hustling from abundance when:

• You’re feeling calm and certain

• Putting in a ton of effort feels easy and fun

• You’re taking action from an inspired place

• You know the outcome you want is already a DONE DEAL

• You’re doing it because you want to, not because you have to

• You never seem to run out of energy

The key to getting what you want with ease isn’t to stop taking massive action.

The key is to change the emotion that’s fuelling the action.

Before you take action, take 60 seconds to get yourself into a mental state of abundance.

Think about why your outcome is already a done deal.

Think about all the outcomes you’ve created in the past.

Think about why you are certain this is no different.

It will change the way you hustle forever.

The Decision To Be Disciplined

I don’t have to decide if I will show up for my goals today – because it’s not even a question. My actions are automatic.

But they weren’t always – my bestie Georgia will tell you she had to physically push PUBLISH on my first blog post for me because I had been procrastinating so much she couldn’t handle it anymore!

And I was the WORST at getting up in the morning. I couldn’t get to work on time to save myself. 

But when I stopped viewing discipline as restrictive and started seeing it as the key to freedom, everything turned around.

You can be disciplined too.

Decide that you will always choose the effort now to get the reward later.

Then you never have to make a decision about whether or not you show up for your goals today.

Because you’ve already decided you always will.

Future-Self Care

Unpopular opinion: 

Self care isn’t just bubble baths and yoga.

Self care is also doing the thing you really DON’T feel like doing, so you can relax for the evening without it niggling at the back of your mind.

It’s staying up late to finish the project you’ve been meaning to do.

It’s posting again today even when no one liked your post yesterday.

It’s prioritizing the things you don’t enjoy so you can do the things you love later.

And zero hate on bubble baths. I love a bubble bath as much as the next person. But I also love hitting my goals. And self-care is important. But so is future-self care.

Self-care is anything that supports you AND your future self.

Waiting For Results

I’m an avid action taker.

Action what creates our results.

But then what?

Action is only the first step.

The real work is staying in the trusting energy. Staying in the knowing energy. Staying in the believing energy.

Doing the work, and not freaking out if there’s a delay time between action and result.

Taking action. Patiently waiting. Loving yourself before the results come in.

What if You're Just In The Middle of Creating the Result?

It's so easy to think that if we haven’t created the end result yet, then it’s not going to happen at all, and so we should just go and watch Netflix in bed.

But what if you’re just in the middle of achieving your goal?

Because if you’ve already started putting in effort, then you’re already part of the way.

You’re in the middle of creating a house downpayment.

You’re in the middle of creating a client.

You’re in the middle of winning a championship.

You’re in the middle of making the money.

You’re in the middle of losing weight.

Even if it seems like you’re not getting anywhere, in fact, you’re just in the middle of your goal.

I'm in the middle of healing my shoulder so I can do 100 push ups in a row.

What are you in the middle of?

If You Only Kinda Want It, You're Only Kinda Gonna Get It

If you only kinda want it, you’re only kinda gonna get it. – Matheson Brown

You have to want it bad.

More than anyone.

More than you did yesterday.

More than anything else in your life.

And when you want it that bad, you’ll be willing to do whatever it takes.

Anything.

The rules no longer apply.

You’re not afraid to knock on every door in your neighbourhood to ask for donations.

You’re not afraid to ring up people you haven’t spoken to in 10 years and ask for help.

You’re not afraid to look like you’re trying really, really hard.

When you want it bad, all excuses fall away.

Whenever we set a goal to grow this group, we always surpass it. It doesn't matter if I set the goal to grow by 500, 800 or 1000 members. We ALWAYS surpass it by the deadline. Because we want it bad.

When I set my goal to do 40 push-ups in a month, I surpassed it and hit 50. Because I wanted it SO bad.

When I decided I was no longer willing to settle for a job a hated, the flip switched in me and I went from trying to create some income as a coach to committing to making a full-time income as a coach – whatever it took. And it worked.

I talk to a lot of people about their goals. It's what I do all day – I get on Zoom and I coach people on their most impossible goals.

And sometimes, people tell me they want their goals 10/10.

And then they have 300 excuses about why they can't do what they need to do to get it.

You can tell me you want your goal bad, but until you are truly willing to do whatever it takes, no excuses, you won't get it.

So the question is, how bad do you really want it?

Holding Belief

What I’m currently working on: holding the belief that “it is working” before I see the result.

I noticed there is a pattern to my goals, and one of the phases is the “Eeeeeek what if this doesn’t work?” phase.

And it is never, ever helpful.

I always get out of it. But I’m working on moving through it more quickly, until eventually, I never experience a “what if this doesn’t work” thought.

Because even when we put in crazy effort, there’s usually a delay time between the action we’re taking, and result we want to see.

Our job is to keep holding that belief that IT IS WORKING.

My favourite thought right now: It is ALREADY working.

Just in Case

Just in case no one has asked you: What do you truly, deeply desire?